Founding Fathers, Undercooked Bacon, and an Impassioned Plea to Daniel Radcliffe - Streaming Wars #3
So, life got you down? Do you feel stuck in a rut? Why not listen to episode 3 of the Streaming Wars, and check out our thoughts on a number of brand-spankin’-new VOD and streaming movies! Neoplasmic (Keona), The Streamin’ Demon (Jacob), The Director (Josh), and Kay-Rah (Kristal) discover that they should have left You Should Have Left alone, while they learn about the founding fathers through Lin Manuel Miranda’s rap musical Hamilton. Then it’s time for a rotation at sea with Tom Hanks in Apple TV+’s Greyhound, followed by a little political spin doctoring with Jon Stewart’s Irresistible, along with some immortal action featuring The Old Guard. We even got stuck in a time loop with Andy Samberg and Cristin Milioti in Hulu’s Palm Springs! All this and even more on this extra-sized edition of the Streaming Wars, here on the RPC Podcast Network.
Spoilers ahead if you haven’t seen any of these films. Beware!
Now, let’s do the time stamp again! Where’s Tim Curry when we need him?
00:43 - Hamilton kicks off the show, as we recount our favorite (and most annoying) songs from the filmed version of the 2015 performance, available now on Disney+. The talent of the cast simply cannot be overstated, as the actors sing, dance, prance, and spit rhymes with authority throughout the entire program. I don’t know if I was as impressed with the story as some were, but if this gets people to learn about history and learn the true story of how this nation was founded, then I’m all for it. Also, King George is great. Watch it!
23:49 - Greyhound is the harrowing story of an American destroyer vessel which was tasked with escorting cargo ships to the front lines of Britain during World War II. This movie is like an extended action sequence, with a simple storyline that’s very intense and well-shot. It’s not a perfect movie, and I do feel that the larger context of the conflict was jettisoned in favor of maritime combat and a lot of sailor jargon. However, to me, it’s still a movie that’s worth watching, even if you may not revisit it. Check it out if you have Apple TV+.
33:50 - Irresistible is the directorial debut of former Comedy Central host Jon Stewart, who displays a satirical edge that cuts both ways in this movie. Steve Carell and Rose Byrne star as dueling political campaign managers who seemingly discover the perfect candidate in a small town in Wisconsin. Critics and audiences have been pretty down on this movie, which surprises me a bit. I liked it enough that I would recommend it, and the mostly split down the middle tone of the satire was handled well. Some scenes don’t work at all, but for the most part, it’s a solid film. Check it out when you have time to spare.
42:45 - You Should Have Left is a modestly budgeted horror film directed and written by David Koepp, who has delivered some awesome screenplays over the years (Jurassic Park, Spider-Man, etc.). Kevin Bacon and Amanda Seyfried star as a husband and wife who buy a house in the remote European countryside, which turns out to be haunted, as these places usually are. It’s a glacially-paced snoozefest which contains one of the worst Kevin Bacon performances I’ve ever seen. Skip it and possibly use it to start a dumpster fire.
01:03:12 - Guns Akimbo is next up, and it is…not good. Starring Daniel Radcliffe (he of Harry Potter fame, of course) as a game-playin’, troll-hatin’, guns-surgically-bolted-to-his-hands nerdy manchild, the film tries to take its hokey premise and deliver a stylized action thriller, but it falls apart conceptually and tonally. The one bright spot in the movie is Samara Weaving (who was the lead in Ready or Not and Mayhem, both of which are far better than this trash heap), but even her considerable talents are wasted here. If not for the next movie on this list, it may have been my least favorite movie of the year so far. Burn it.
01:22:12 - My Spy is the latest film to ask, “Would audiences enjoy seeing a big, tough, potentially scary action star be torn down to size by a precocious ten year old?” If you answered yes, you’re what’s wrong with audiences. Okay, maybe that was a bit harsh, but movies like My Spy and The Gameplan are so sickeningly saccharine that they may cause you to vomit. Kindergarten Cop, this ain’t. Let’s hope they never make a sequel to this one. Destroy it while you still can!
01:35:08 - First Cow is sadly not a live action adaptation of Old Man: The Movie, nor is it the tale of a bovine candidate who succeeds at stopping our current president from being reelected. Believe me, I wish it was either of those. Jokes aside, A24’s latest slow burn of a drama sounds very poignant, and though I have yet to watch the film, the trailer looks very good, and I love the cinematography on display! Give it a look-see!
01:42:28 - Palm Springs is the hit film Hulu has been waiting for, starring Andy Samberg and Cristin Milioti. The story is an eerily prescient Groundhog Day riff where Samberg’s character has literally been stuck in a rut as the day keeps on repeating itself endlessly. The passage of time becomes meaningless to him (sound familiar?), as does pretty much everything else until Milioti shows up and throws him for a metaphorical loop. Solid performances and a twist ending make this film must watch! Watch it right now! We’ll wait.
01:53:48 - Eurovision: The Story of Fire Saga is next up, and although it’s not exactly what I would call a great movie, it is surprisingly charming and witty. I loved Will Ferrell, Rachel McAdams, and Dan Stevens’ performances in this one, and seeing the actual contestants from the real Eurovision Song Contest cameo in the film definitely added to its charm. Check it out!
01:58:14 - The Old Guard is a Netflix-produced comic book adaptation starring Charlize Theron and Chiwetel Ejiofor. The comic upon which this movie is based was written by one of my favorite authors, Greg Rucka, who also wrote the screenplay for this adaptation. This is absolutely one of my favorite movies of the year so far, and while Theron really holds the film together, I think Rucka’s writing is just as important here. Gives me hope for DC’s Gotham Central-like adaptation, as well as Amazon’s upcoming Lazarus adaptation. Watch it!
02:03:46 - The Painted Bird is a Czech film production which chronicles the extremely brutal journey of a young Jewish boy who is looking for his parents in war-torn Europe during World War II. As the boy searches for his parents, he comes into contact with numerous cruel and perverse adults who torture and abuse him in many grotesque ways. Doesn’t seem like my kind of film at all, to be honest, but if you can handle it or are interested in seeing it, I’d say give it a shot. Check it out if you aren’t squeamish.
02:15:04 - Recommendations and Wrap Up
The only note I must add is if you’re going to watch anything in the coming weeks, please check out the Lost in America documentary, which is about homeless teens and young adults in America. Also, if you happen to check out another documentary called We Need to Talk About A.I., I’d recommend a cool TV show called Person of Interest, which originally aired on CBS for five seasons. It can be found on Netflix, and it is an intriguing counterpoint to many of the more alarmist sci-fi tales we’ve seen over the years. Plus, it’s got Amy Acker, and she is the goddess of my life.
Amy Acker in Person of Interest. Seriously, watch this show. Especially the episodes where she shows up.
Alright, Renegades, that’s another episode of the Streaming Wars in the bag! We hope you’ve enjoyed this journey through the front lines of the conflict, as streaming giants like Netflix do battle with Disney and Apple to determine who will emerge victorious! Until we meet again, stay safe, be excellent to each other, and party on, dudes!
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